Terrible Telemarketing (and Wizards)

I’ve really struggled with this part of the brief.  Creating a telemarketing company is something that is 100% not up my street, and something that I really feel can’t be jazzed up a bit by any level of design.  I don’t like telemarketers or what they do, cold calling is the biggest waste of time and I’m struggling to identify with it.  I’ve thought about just making it completely ridiculous (it can be fictitious after all) and having some sort of cold caller for mystical and mythical supplies.  Somewhere along the line someone has to create this brand for me, so I want to make it something that will keep someone interested.

The elevator pitch today went quite well, which is where I introduced my telemarketing company for wizards.  Essentially it’s a wizarding helpline/agony aunt for wizards and other mystical things.  For example if you have problems with garden gnomes tearing up your plants and digging holes, love potions gone wrong, a sort of AA service for broomstick malfunctions etc.  It’s utter nonsense but I think the outcomes could be pretty amazing!  A sort of 118 service but for nonsensical problems that I assume someone in the wizarding world might encounter in their day to day lives.  Ordering replacement wands, problems with pixie infestations, things like that.  Tying these fictitious creatures into the brand identity could be fun, the same way in which the two moustachioed men represent 118.

The moodboard for the company is something that I think has to be quite different to what would be expected to a ‘normal’ company, however I’m only really basing this on my experience of reading Harry Potter and watching various fantasy fiction films, and the aesthetic that the wizarding world has.  My moodboard was lots of velvet, deep purples and reds, gold colours, and generally quite opulent colours and textures.  The typography used should reflect this, but it can’t be illegible.  Translating this into the branding for a telemarketing company is going to be interesting…  Thus far the company remains unnamed, but I will leave that up to the designer.

The company would be targeting a large market, so keeping it universally appealing will also be a challenge, but on the plus side we have no idea what separates a 20 year old wizard from a 70 year old wizard – pointing the brand at the right people might be easier because of this.  The brand will need to demonstrate good communication and helpful information, providing a service which gives reliable information and advice.


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